Ever ask yourself how and if Superman brushes his teeth in the morning? Does Batman keep a reel of floss in his utility belt? And does Tony Stark chew sugar-free gum? It’s time to find out if superheroes have strong teeth!
So this might seem like a bit of a weird topic to have, but it surprisingly came up after I took my nephew to the dentist. Because the room had a few drawings up on the wall for kids to stare at, my nephew asked the dentist if Superman had strong teeth, or would he break the dentist’s tools? Of course we all has a quick laugh at it, but on the drive home and intermittently throughout the week I just kept thinking to myself
“wait, how really does have strong teeth? are there heroes I don’t know about that use their teeth for special powers? Can superman go through a tube of toothpaste in like a day? Can Ant-Man theoretically get a chunk of food stuck in your tooth?”
Dozens of these idea popper in my head and I had to know. After doing some digging online, I came across this incredible article on Stack Exchange where someone had obviously been having the same insane thoughts as me and I decided why not share these crazy little finding right here on Comix Space.
Teeth Hero Mystery No 1: Matter Eater Lad
Imagine asking a superhero what their power was and they replied: “Oh I can eat anything… and really fast”. That exactly the power that Matter Eater Lad had when he first appeared in DC comics in 1962. Obviously the Guy Fieri of his day, Matter-Eater Lad (aka Tenzil Kem) has the ability to consume faster than a hungry person waiting on a pizza delviery. And it isn’t just food (or the fence) above he can chow down in seconds. Matter-Eater Lad can eat all types of solids, liquids and even gas! In one very heroic episode he managed to eat an entire meteor in order to save the planet.
We can imagine that if Man V Food was in the DC Universe he’d be winning the free t-shirt each and every time.
Teeth Hero Mystery No 2: LockJaw
Everyone is guilty of slipping a little food under the table to their dog, but when you’re one of the Fantastic Four you need more than a few bits of bacon to feed your dog. Lockjaw, although not knowing for having dazzling white teeth, does have as his name suggest an incredibly strong mouth and jaw and the ability to clamp and never let go. It essentially makes him a postman’s worst nightmare. Also, for some bizarre reason, Lockjaw can also has the power to teleport so I’m guessing he would be the worst dog to try and play catch with. Just imaging going to throw the ball, and then have the dog get it in a second and instantly come back with a burst ball in his mouth.
Teeth Hero Mystery No 3: Wolverine
You have to hand it to Hugh Jackman when it comes to playing Logan. Not only does he have shoulder muscles that would make any gym buff jealous, he also manages to have perfectly pearly white teeth (which you could get with some awesome teeth whitening coupons like these). And when you take a step back and think about it for a second, Wolverine shouldn’t really have white teeth at all. If his entire skeletal structure is made of adamantium; all the way from his toes to his jaw, shouldn’t his teeth be sliver too?
I did have to Google what the difference between teeth and bones and the only clear answer I found was that a broken bone will have cells come to try and heal, while your tooth will just fall out and that sort of make them the same thing. If i’m completely wrong on this, please get in touch and let me know. Either way, some set of teeth on Wolverine. No wonder he loves chewing the end off cigars.
There you have it. Some weird and wonderful facts about superheroes and their stupidly strong teeth. Did I miss any glaring example of teeth being used for good or bad in comic book history? Get in touch and let me know!